White History Month

I thought you might like to get a head start on White History Month, which is just getting under way and will continue till the end of this year. If you watch old movies, you’ve run across the expression “That’s white of you.” It’s meant to be a compliment from one caucasian to another, acknowledging the obvious connection between virtue and skin color. It’s fallen into disuse except as sarcasm. Maybe it ought to be rehabilitated.

In the value system of the new millennium, it’s a challenge to name a single virtue exhibited by any variety of human, but it’s especially hard to find virtue among white people. Richer by orders of magnitude than their more numerous, dark-skinned brethren, they have traditionally used their advantage to oppress and enslave the less fortunate.

White people are armed to the teeth, fighting endlessly among themselves but always reserving most of their bombs and bullets for dark-complected folks. They kill children with as little thought as they exterminate pests. For most of the last millennium and all of this one, they’ve kept busy displacing dark-skinned people to make room for themselves and their polluting culture.

White people are preoccupied with violence. Their favorite subject seems to be killing, which forms the theme of most of their fiction. So many murders are dramatized for their amusement that most white people now think they risk death whenever they venture out of doors.

Their favorite pastimes are car racing, featuring high-speed collisions that are occasionally lethal, wrestling, an exhibition of simulated violence that would, if it were genuine, kill or maim the athletes, and football, which actually does maim the athletes.

White people bring their preferences to politics, keeping the world in a permanent state of war. This is ironic, since they’re consummate cowards,  typically taking on illiterate, poorly armed people, using proxies from the poorest segments of their own population to do the wet work and attacking with robots and remote controlled missiles.

White people consume like vermin, and their waste piles are mountain-high in some places. They’re forever deodorizing and disinfecting. They consider their skin and hair to be ugly and difficult to maintain, and so they keep a supply of cosmetics with them at all times.

Most non-white people privately think white people should be ground up and fed to their pets, but their various moral codes don’t allow them to express this desire. White people, by contrast, have no obligatory moral code and are known for leaving the dead bodies of non-whites to litter the streets of places like Gaza and New Orleans for scavengers to pick at.

Though tanned, our president is widely considered to be white. Raised by white people, he seems to have picked up most of their ways. He’s in the process now of assembling sponsors for new rounds of armed attacks on non-white enemies in Korea and other faraway lands. That’s white of him.